I don’t know what mornings are like in your house. Ours are usually a pretty rushed affair with 2 sets of children to get out the door on time for 2 different schools. Between getting some kind of breakfast down them and locating lost pencil cases and shoes there is not much time for contemplation! On Sunday night we are very organised with uniforms ironed, packed lunches made and shoes polished and homework checked. Unfortunately due to a variety of factors this military operation has virtually gone out of the window by Friday.
With 4 children bringing home letters from school and most of them festering in their bags unless I get the superhuman urge to empty all the detritus from them, occasionally an important letter gets lost. However this week I had intercepted said letter before it was consigned to the lower wastes of the school bag graveyard and even managed to pin it on our noticeboard in the kitchen. I was feeling impressed with myself but as always that feeling wasn’t going to last. In anticipation of the Macmillan cake sale at school I had prodded long suffering husband out of the door at stupid o’clock on Thursday night to get cakes for my littler ones to take in. As the week wears on our usual get up time of 7am gradually , after several bashes of the snooze button, creeps up to an 8 o’ clock start time . This is what happened last Friday morning so poor dd had taken it upon herself to make a packed lunch for her and her brother for school. Can you see where this is going yet?
She’d made sandwiches, crisps, piece of fruit etc and just as we were finally descending downstairs proudly said “Don’t worry, I’ve done the lunches and I opened this pack of cakes and took 2 out, is that ok?”.
Now don’t get me wrong , I could have just sent them to school without cakes and it wouldn’t have mattered or been the first time. But for some reason, probably because we are going through a tough family thing at the moment, I like to pretend to everyone that I am capable and organised and having 4 children is a breeze. When in reality the truth is something more like the proverbial duck , calm and serene topside, and frantically paddling under the water!
Why do I do this to myself? Who really cares or would think less of me for admitting the truth? The honest answer is no one I care about would care. But aren’t we always our own harshest critics? Isn’t it a relief that God doesn’t judge us like that? it is to me anyway.
I’m going to jump ahead for a moment to Friday afternoon when we came home from the school run to another bag of groceries left mysteriously on our doorstep while we were out. Since my husband , through no fault of his own, lost his job, there have been several such mysterious parcels left on our doorstep. Always full of practical things like washing up liquid and toilet rolls and treats for the children along with other essentials.
I have my suspicions who might be leaving them but i’ve come to the conclusion that if they wanted us to know they would say. Some people like to do a kind deed when people are going through a dark time and that is ok. But can I tell you how touched we are by their kindness to the point that as I tell you this tears are rolling down my face! To know that you are not forgotten when your usual life is thrown into upheaval is a powerful thing. And to know that people love and care for you and think about you in the midst of their own daily lives is another.
For me this is another reflection of our heavenly Father who is unstinting in his love and care and provision. Who indeed is always the same and does not change like shifting shadows. And it touches my heart abundantly to see His care so transparently, particularly when I fail Him so often.
For those wondering what happened with the cake scenario well, as usual, it turned out ok in the end. One child in primary was out on a school trip Friday morning so only 1 packet of cakes was needed anyway!
So this was my first post. Longer than intended and probably befuddled in content but I hope to write better as I learn to edit my thinking more and I hope, Dear Reader, that you will check in on my wordpress blog from time to time.
Till next time.