Tonight over dinner some friends and I were talking and we got on to the subject of the things that come easily to us and those that don’t. In our small group some of us were what we call geeks and fanatical over English and punctuation and grammar. The others were that way inclined towards Maths.
I was so terrible at Maths in school that I think (I don’t remember) I got an unclassified result in my Maths GCSE. This wasn’t because I was stupid or even disinterested in the subject, more because I was too shy to say when I didn’t understand things. This meant I left homework unfinished and frustrated my teachers who couldn’t understand why I wasn’t doing better.
I was better at languages. English was a subject full of potential beauty. The sonnets, the plays, the books. From an early age I loved writing stories and would fill pages of scrapbooks with them. Sadly often the stories would end with ” and it was all a dream” because I couldn’t work out how to tie up the loose ends . Hey, don’t knock it , some scriptwriters have used the same tactic(Bobby Ewing, Dallas shower scene)!
Tonight we were talking about Lynne Truss’s book “Eats, shoots and leaves” and saying how the way things are written can have an impact. For example, Lets eat Grandma or Lets eat, Grandma. The way it is written gives it a whole new connotation.
It’s petty but I can’t help noticing when people misspell or use incorrect grammar. It’s like an eyesore that immediately jumps out at me. I even get annoyed at my phone keyboard when I’m trying to send messages and I can’t immediately access the apostrophe key. Silly I know. I love Admin, it’s one of my favourite things. I don’t know why but I actually experience satisfaction typing up my blog etc. You may need to send for help now!
My husband, I’m glad to say is wired completely different to me. He loves writing but he could have been a doctor for the way he sets things out. He is good at puzzles, making things with his hands and those Math puzzles where you rotate a shape and predict how it will end up.
I have tried to train myself to be creative. I sew a little, knit a little but it doesn’t come easy for me. I look at the puzzles he does and understand what I’m supposed to do but can’t figure out how to actually do it. Or with Maths, unless it’s simple addition and subtraction I quite often arrive at the right answer but I couldn’t tell you how I got there. I challenged myself this week and asked my daughter to explain her Maths revision to me. It was factorizing numbers. She hadn’t even got over explaining the brackets part before my eyes glazed over and I heard white noise. Nothing to do with her explanation just that it required too much concentration. And there are other things I would rather spend my time on.
I often think it must be lovely to be wired differently. To be able to look at a complex equation and translate it. That is not how I’m made. Given how much I love reading and writing I’m actually quite glad, although I do admire people who are inclined the opposite way.
My husband knows an awful lot of information about a lot of subjects, things he gleans from the news, or the internet, or the papers or television. I know a fair amount of things about the subjects I am interested in. Hence I could probably tell you what new books and films are coming out and who they are by and who is in them .
It’s strange to think that I am unique, although probably a relief to some! There is no one else who is packaged quite the way I am , with my talents and interests and abilities. Singing is another of my loves, something I have done from a very early age. I would say I used to sing quite well now I sing ok. Not enough practice or discipline plus I’ve never learnt the right way to breathe etc. I have never had a loud singing voice and have been told I have a very small voice. No matter , I love it and will always do it even if its only in the shower. I must admit to a pang though when I watch a film or a musical with spectacular singing. A sort of if only.
I wish I was really good at something instead of being ok at a few things. I used to look at others and feel intimidated by how pretty and slim and musical they were. I am making a conscious effort to stop this because there will always be people who are better at something than I am. That is just the way life works. Its been said that “comparison is the thief of joy” and its true. The only one who feels bad when comparing is the one doing the comparing, the other people are oblivious.
I also think its insulting God by saying I’m not happy with how he made me. That’s not really the case. There are things and qualities I wish I had and a way I would like to be. Some of those things I can work on and am. Others I have to learn to accept. The good thing about growing older is usually we start to know the difference!
My husband is the only man who has ever accepted me romantically for who I am. When previous partners told me I would be prettier if I was thinner( size 10 at that point in time!) or more extrovert or funnier he has always loved me for me and never made me feel inadequate.
The difference is he was and is kind. And that’s my message to you. However you are wired and whatever you are like, find somebody who is kind and loves you for you. Good looks fade, beauty is fleeting, riches diminish but a true love will not cease.
Till next time.
P.S red marker pen enclosed so you can correct all my mistakes! :-).