The mirror is not my friend.

When I was a little girl, about 8 years old, I was fascinated by the mirror, as is my 8-year-old today. I’m slightly mortified to admit that I would spend hours looking at my reflection, posing and pulling what I thought were beautiful faces.

This behaviour was echoed in my early teens. I can see myself now, cheeks sucked in, eyebrows artfully raised, hair held in a swept up style on my head. I was a vain child.

I’m not sure when exactly this behaviour stopped, probably at the advent of spots and greasy skin. All of a sudden my face was not obeying the rules or my figure.

Since then the mirror and I have had a tempestuous, dysfunctional relationship. I could probably count on my one hand the number of times I’ve been truly happy with my appearance. It is true to say that not being beautiful and only attractive has been one of my life’s great disappointments.

I’m still that vain young girl inside.

Nowadays when  I look in the mirror I try to be kind to myself. I am 42 but blessed to look younger but daily I see evidence of my wrinkle lines deepening and without the help of hair dye my hair would be white not grey. I am very critical of my body shape. I do not look the way I wanted to at this age. I am endeavouring to change this but that will take time and patience.

As this prompt is about the mirror I want to go deeper and examine the state of my soul and heart. On the plus side I am loyal and compassionate, I feel deeply for others I come into contact with. On the down  side my spiritual life is not what it should be. I do not spend enough time talking to God or reading His word. Thus it follows that when I encounter tough situations I find them hard to deal with because my spiritual self or piggy bank if you like is  almost empty.

I would like to tell you that I am going to work harder on this and my physical appearance will have to go with the flow but that would be dishonest. Despite my husband’s and my families love and affection I will always care how I look and what others think of me.

And I suppose the mirror and I will continue our somewhat rocky relationship.

Till next time.

17 thoughts on “The mirror is not my friend.

  1. If that is your picture on your blog, then I think you are very pretty! Yes, you do look much younger! As for me and the mirror, I only look at it to style my hair and avoid looking at my face at all costs. 😀

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