Always be kinder than you feel.

The above quote speaks to me on many levels and is a great life motto.

Not wanting to shatter anyone’s illusions but the truth is, so often I am not kind, I don’t feel kind. I give in to my inner grouch.

My son is sleeping on a bed in our bedroom at the moment. His own bedroom is adjacent to ours but his sleeping in our room is a throwback to the traumatic time of school phobia and anxiety he had last year. One of the last remaining visible vestiges of it. I know it isn’t ideal but I don’t have the heart to force him out until he is ready.

Usually his presence is not an issue but he is very heavy footed and we live in an old house. One of his worries is about being late for school. He normally relies on his iPod alarm to wake him but we’d all forgotten to charge it. So he woke us at 6am to ask if it was time to get up yet, then just as I was drifting back off to sleep crashed his way to the toilet like a herd of elephants.

I’m exaggerating but that’s what it sounded like to my befuddled brain. I woke up with a headache and a seriously bad case of bed hair!

You have to bear in mind he is 11 so he is capable of being quieter.

I managed not to shout at him and merely grunt my displeasure but it took patience I wouldn’t normally have at 6am.

There are people I have to deal with in my day to day life that I really don’t like. They press all the wrong buttons and seem to take great delight in dispensing snide remarks. However much I psyche myself up before seeing them they try my patience to the limit.

They probably feel the same towards me!

The truth is I don’t like to be at logger heads, I try to be kind. I try to consider other people’s feelings and where they are coming from.

So this is my self improvement plan. To think before I speak, to try not to be so easily offended, to not hold grudges for so long. In a nutshell, to forgive.

The Bible says “If it is possible as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone’ (Rom12:18)

What the quote acknowledges is that there will be times we won’t feel kind, we will be frustrated and upset but it’s still good practise to show kindness because it does us good. And of course it heaps burning coals on our enemies heads! In fact I have heard this quote altered to “always be kinder than you feel, it annoys the heck out of people!”.

Think of the situations that could be transformed if we all practised the mantra of being kinder than we felt.

Till next time.

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7 thoughts on “Always be kinder than you feel.

  1. I too sometimes struggle to be kinder than I feel, probably more than I would want to acknowledge. Your post makes a very good point, and I need to remember this when I am feeling frustrated. I have a very good friend here that has an eleven year old daughter that also struggles with anxiety. Bless their hearts, these children struggling with anxiety, this world is so much more complicated and unsafe than it was when we were young. I pray your son will outgrow his anxieties and I pray my friend’s daughter, Lizzy, will outgrow hers.

    1. Thanks Joy. It’s a horrible thing to watch as a parent, makes you feel helpless. Thankfully I know God is with me in it. I don’t find it easy to be kind especially with some family members!

  2. If only everyone would take some time for reflection and instruction from the Ultimate Teacher! Good post, good lesson!

    Ed

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