When you are in a group, in a social situation, what voices are running through your head and where do they come from?
Do you feel stuck out on a limb, out of your comfort zone, not good enough, not prepared enough?
Let me tell you a secret. We all feel like that on occasion, but some are better at not letting on!
The truth is, we all have things about us, little ways, little quirks, that pull us down and make us feel inadequate. The trick is to not let them run our lives, or even ruin our lives.
Easier said than done I know.
I have spent years dwelling on my bad points. I am a master at the deflected compliment, those ones where someone thanks you or says something good about you or what you’ve done and you then say “so and so should really have the credit”. Partly we do this because we feel someone else DOES deserve the credit but mostly because we don’t like having attention drawn to us so we try to hide.
It’s a pity. The Complimenter genuinely appreciates us but by deflecting their appreciation we make them feel awkward….
I am also highly skilled at putting myself down, particularly when it comes to my appearance. Whenever it comes to a situation where I have to eat in front of others like the Alpha course I’m at this evening I usually make a joke of my size. It’s protection in a way, get in before others do with a mean remark, show I can laugh it off. The honest truth is I don’t laugh it off. It saddens me.
I have lovely friends, they never say unkind things about me, it’s just me, incessantly.
There are voices from my past that stay with me. They say things like “You’ve always been overweight. You’d be prettier if you were thinner. ”
Do you know what? I hate feeling like this, I’m bored of pity parties.
I’m a good person, a loving, loyal person. I’m not exactly where I want to be but I’m making firm plans to get there.
I want to stop listening to that background tape of critical voices that’s been part of my life for so long. I want to possess just a little eensy bit of faith in myself.
Here’s to learning new voices….