Do you ever wake up in a sweat and panic in the middle of the night, heart racing, mouth dry? You wake disoriented unsure of your surroundings at first not even knowing why you have woken but feeling fearful. This happens to me from time to time.
It usually occurs after a dream that one of my little ones is lost and I can’t get to them. I know they are scared and upset and I feel powerless to help them. It’s as if my subconscious is mocking me.
What are you like? Are you brave or full of phobias? Here are a few of mine.
Spiders… I know they’re good beasties, they catch flies… blah , blah, I’ve never liked them but its worsened since the time a huge one fell into my hair and then down my trousers. I would have won gold that day for running if the Olympic scouts had been present. They send shivers down my spine and goosebumps down my arms. Incidentally I did manage to watch “Arachnaphobia” because I knew they weren’t real. I’m not sure if it is their bodies or the way they move but they perturb me tremendously. I am ok if I know they are there, it’s when they creep up unexpectedly I go into panic mode. I never kill them, I make my husband come and remove them or my children if they offer, I’m not fussy, I just want them gone.
The deep end of the swimming pool. I’m 5ft3, the swimming pool deep end is at least 6 foot deep. Not being able to touch the bottom freaks me out, I’m not a great swimmer and I’ve never learnt to tread water so I’m literally out of my depth there. I’m not a complete wuss, I do swim into the deep end but I have to swim by the wall so I can grab onto the bar if necessary.
My children being kidnapped/maimed/killed- I have 4 children and an over active imagination, not a good combination. I am too protective sometimes. I just wish they never had to leave the house, ever.
My last 2 fears are not typical phobias but they do cause me anxiety.
I worry I will never make anything of my life – that speaks for itself.
I worry I won’t be a good parent There are times when all the roles in my life seem to collapse into each other and I’m caught at the bottom waving frantically for release. I so love being a wife, mother, friend, Christian, daughter, sister but juggling all those balls usually means one or a few are bound to drop!
How about you? Do you breeze through life with no worries or are you a little pile of tangled insecurities like me or somewhere on the middle line?
Till next time.