My husband and I have been married almost 17 years and were a couple for a year before that. We’ve always had good communication between us and have always made the effort to talk and listen to each other.
We may not always accomplish the recommended weekly date night or the romantic weekend away but we do spend time just talking things through. It’s important in a marriage because leave communication for too long and chances are you won’t want to get back to it.
I would never claim to have a perfect marriage but we do have an intimacy and a tenacity and a mutual faith in God that has helped us through some tough times.
And yet with all of the above I’ve only just explained to my husband why something he does bugs me so much. It’s not even a big deal. I’m a bit of a grammar freak so when people speak wrongly or spell inaccurately it gets to me, like nails being scraped down a blackboard. My husband was in the habit of saying one particular thing that was wrong. I tried correcting him (not advised) , I tried ignoring it (also not advised) then finally this morning I told him what he said was wrong and the reason why according to the laws of English grammar.
It was an impatient moment I admit. He then told me no one had explained it before…..
17 years nearly and I’m just telling him now? Oh boy.
Well if you’re thinking right now I’m not nice be advised that he also took issue with me recently. I was in the habit, when I wanted him to do something, of saying “Do you want to load the dishwasher, bathe the kids etc?”.
Of course the answer that came to his lips but was held back was no!
He told me he hates the way I was asking him for help and would prefer just to be asked straight out. So that’s what I’m trying to do. Not easy though.
These are only little niggles and all marriages have them. The point about marital issues is they need to be dealt with at the start before the inclination to solve problems has gone.
It’s important to have things in common and mutual interests even if it’s only sitting down together and sipping coffee and reading a book.
Since my husband and I got smart phones we have become slightly obsessed with them and could be on them for hours. Whilst modern technology is amazing it’s supposed to be a tool to aid our lives not to take it over. Therefore that’s the next course I’ll be working on in our marriage 101 !