As a dreamy adolescent I had some very fixed ideas about what romance was. Perhaps due to the programmes I watched and the books I read it was something of a cross between the Milk Tray man and Mr.Darcy bestowing flowers and chocolates on me and whisking me away to foreign climes.
I’m sure there were romantic clichéd moments in my youth but they all felt embarrassing and staged. Once I was delivered a dozen roses to my place of work and had to ride home on the tube with them in a black bin liner because the bouquet was so large .
See what I mean? Typical woman, hard to please!
I still love being given flowers and chocolates but my idea of romance has broadened and evolved.
Now I appreciate the unspoken things that aren’t presented with a huge fanfare but show I’ve been thought of.
My friend and I live in similar 3 storey homes but she has 2 children and works full time whereas I work part time and have 4 children. It is very important to her that her home is always tidy, almost show home tidy. Our house runs the gamut of tidy to lived in to approaching a pig sty despite my attempts to keep on top of it.
We have been friends since parent craft classes when we were expecting our first children and we meet most weeks for a catch up.
Usually on the week she comes to my house the house needs some tidying to make it presentable and every week my husband helps me get it ship shape. It isn’t his friend who is visiting but he helps me out and that to me is one of the ways he shows his love.
Last week he walked to my place of work in the pouring rain to bring me lunch. That meant a lot too.
Other thoughtful things he does are holding my hand, making phone calls I don’t want to make, bringing me coffee in bed on the weekend, debriefing his day for me because he knows it’s important to me.
My friend has just divorced her husband and she was always upset about the little things he didn’t do like checking there was enough water in her car so it didn’t break down or contributing financially towards his children without a huge fight.
Men seem to be unfairly sold the idea that they have to come equipped with flowers and chocolates and an entire string orchestra to woo their wives or girlfriends but the reality is most women appreciate kindness, thoughtfulness and reliability more highly.
It’s all about the little things.. …..
We don’t have a lot of spare money at the moment but sometimes my husband buys me reduced flowers at the supermarket. I don’t mind. As long as you add the flower food they last a while and I feel smug because he’s had a bargain!
Maybe I’m just low maintenance! 🙂