Walking into my friend’s house today I was aware of a different feel to it. An imperceptible change. It took me a second to put my finger on the difference. Her divorce recently came through and there were no longer any apparent photos of her husband on display or pictures of their wedding.
I understand her need to do this, to put her own mark on the house they shared together for so long. She has redecorated and bought some new furniture and it almost feels like a different house.
Towards the end their marriage was pretty acrimonious with both of them seemingly trying to score points in their own favour.
Still, it felt odd. It would be unkind to say I never liked her husband, more accurate to say it hurt me how he treated her and his children but how do you whitewash a whole relationship?
When they bought that house they excitedly planned all the details of it, which rooms would be what and how it would be decorated. Now she is in sole charge. I feel for her. On the surface she is on top of everything and she’s been very fair with regards to custody of the children but she must be hurt by it.
I have been married to my husband for 17 years and I can’t imagine how it would feel to have to start again, to make a new life for yourself, to rewrite your history. I think I would prefer to take to my bed and hope it all went away but of course I wouldn’t be able to because I have children. I’m sure they would be my saving grace, just as they were after my miscarriage and bouts of depression.
I hope she finds companionship again in the future, when it’s the right time.
By the way, that photo? There is still one that she’s kept of her husband and her children together.