I barely remember making my marriage vows 17 years ago. I remember being nervous and hating being the centre of attention but the day went by so fast I don’t really recall saying those important words.
So much has happened since then. Hundreds of days that seem to have gone by in a flash, some of them a cause for celebration, others that are mercifully forgotten.
I opted for saying traditional wedding vows . It wasn’t the done thing then to write your own personal vows. I don’t suppose I understood the full extent of those promises then being so full of happiness and dreams of romance and the excitement of being with someone forever.
In hindsight I wish I had added to those vows with the following things I have realised the importance of the last 17 years:
I promise not to speak ill of you in front of other people and to magnify your good points instead of focusing on your bad points.
I promise to try to always have faith in you however the circumstances look.
I promise to make the effort to always be your friend.
I promise to not stop doing the little things for you I did so readily when we were first married.
I promise to try to count to ten before the unkind words leave my lips.
I promise to keep trying at our marriage and not to take it for granted.
I promise to cultivate our relationship and friendship and interests so that when eventually our children do leave home we still have something in common.
I promise to pray for you regularly and to encourage your relationship with God.
I promise to treat you with the love and kindness and respect you show me particularly when I don’t feel like it.
I promise to keep in mind the reasons I fell in love with you in the first place when times get tough and those memories dim.
The good thing is it is not too late to implement these vows and keep trying at my marriage.