Once again I’m sat in a coffee shop waiting for someone else to make a decision about my family’s life. It would be hard to say how many times in the last 18 months this has been repeated. To say I feel powerless is an understatement.
In between these times family routine and work keep me going. These dates on the calendar seem to be far off in the distance. But then the day dawns and I’m left feeling in limbo again. Then I feel selfish for focusing on me when it’s my husband who endures it all.
Then there is the struggle of trying to keep some kind of normality for the children, to spread the joy of Christmas for them when I feel indifferent and sad.
There have been many times when God has felt distant and indeed absent. Friends though have rallied around us though to prove that He is not. They have been Jesus to us with skin on. His representatives who demonstrate His love in ways such as a listening ear, a comforting embrace, an envelope pressed into our hands, food parcels, gift cards and much more.
I see as well that they have tried to keep the normality for us by lifting our spirits, feeding us, reminding us there are still good times to be had and sensitivity enough to know when we don’t want to talk about things.
I would never have asked for this situation to happen to us but I will be forever grateful for the lessons we have learnt through it.
Thanks for listening, again.