Here at the closing of the Year
At the greying of the days
May a kindness reappear
And rise above the haze
of unloveliness.
In this world at war with self
And these men at war with peace
May they summon up a grace
May they conjure up a cease
Of wickedness.
May our children not be hungry
May our homeless find a bed
May our generation be the ones
who stood and vowed and said
Enough………..
Suzanne Rollinson (2018 December)
There are shadows now between us
And our paths no longer meet
My thoughts, once warm towards you
Now hasten in retreat.
There are words that went unspoken
There are lives that went unlived
A childish trust that once was broken
A woman’s love that went adrift.
There are shadows now between us
And it seems it’s for the best
That this poem do the talking
And your heart fill in the rest.
Suzanne Rollinson (July 2018)
Gingerly I tore
open the musings of my
heart and let you in.
Suzanne Rollinson (Nov 2017)
Dear Readers,
It was never you, it was always me. I suffered from procrastination and prevarication. Are they the same thing? I’m not entirely sure.
When I began my blog 4 years ago I was full of enthusiasm. Writing had been a long term passion of mine. I was determined this was one hobby I wouldn’t get bored of or lose interest in.
And I didn’t. Yet I stopped writing. This blog was born out of a need for catharsis during a difficult time. That time eventually passed. But I felt stuck.
I wanted to write but I couldn’t, apart from the odd haiku or poem.
I felt as if I’d written all I had to say. I also stopped talking as much and my social media updating dwindled severely. Not always a bad thing I know.
If I’m honest I felt grieved by life and circumstances despite many good, wonderful things going on in my life and family.
I felt under pressure, as if every single piece of writing had to be my very best or it was unpublishable.
I lost the joy of writing simply just to write.
But….. I’m feeling a tiny dormant spark of something wanting to come to life and so I’m trying again.
With a new blog theme and tagline and name because let’s face it I’ll always be slightly stressed but can’t keep writing those posts forever….
I’m not committing myself to writing daily but I will write regularly.
And the new blog name is just a bit of fun and showing that this site is dedicated to my one true love…. Coffee.
We always think there are better days ahead. We look forward to the days the kids are grown and can take care of themselves. We dream of the days a bill comes through the door and we can pay it straightaway.
We look ahead to the time we no longer have to go out to work and plan what we’ll do when we retire.
When times are tough it’s natural to look forward to the storm passing, to want to glimpse calmer seas on the horizon.
In the days of keeping up with the Joneses (who incidentally buy most things on credit) we’ve become a dissatisfied people. We want better things, better technology, the latest gadget, to see the latest films etc.
It has become unfashionable to live in the moment and that’s a great pity because that’s where the treasure is.
I know from personal experience that it’s difficult to know contentment sometimes. Everyone else’s grass always looks greener but it isn’t.
They have dissatisfaction and discontent also. You just don’t realise it because you’re looking at their highlight reel on social media.
A picture came up on Facebook today. It was of my youngest daughter standing outside our house shortly after we moved in here.
I couldn’t help but notice how much she’s grown. Her face has lost its baby chubbiness. She’s grown taller. She’s in her penultimate year of Primary school and I just don’t know where that time has flown to.
But I can say this. An awful lot of it I spent waiting for better days, for easier days, for lovelier days .
Jim Elliott, the missionary said “Wherever you are be all there”.
It’s one of the biggest things I struggle with yet it’s so important.
Learn to live your life in the now. It takes practice but it can be done and it’s necessary because while we’re waiting on a bigger and better ship to come along laden with everything we think we possibly need we’re missing out on valuable memories now.
Till next time.
This post was written in response to the Daily Prompt -better.
Perhaps somewhere in a different time we share Christmas day together. You bring your family. We share tales of growing up separately but bound by blood. Perhaps it begins an annual tradition of meeting and exchanging gifts and sharing each other’s lives.
Meanwhile in a different realm I bring home a special guest. We laugh at the repeats on the TV and bicker over Brussel sprouts.
Later after you’ve had a glass or two and your pipe you fall asleep in the armchair, your cracker hat slightly askew as you snore gently . I look at you and think “when did you get old?”. I remember you carrying me up the stairs to bed in your arms when I fell asleep downstairs. So strong then but now you resemble an old comfy arm chair yourself. The children look at you and giggle. I shush them anxious not to stress the fragile brokered Christmas peace.
In still another time, she is there. Laughing with the children, making merry with the sherry. Making us scream with laughter at her awful charade reenactments. I dream she has had a happy life, a life of peace and wishes fulfilled.
Lastly in another Christmas I bounce upon my knee a little one. I can see their tiny fingers and their rosebud mouth. They look at their siblings, desperate to join in the fun and excitement. “Soon” I tell them. “Soon you’ll be old enough”.
This Christmas will be a happy one. We have lots of blessings to be grateful for. We love our little family. I won’t feel anything amiss.
But sometimes I wish the ghosts of Christmas past would collide.
Flattery leaves us
Hearing a person’s words but
Missing their intent.
https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/flattery/
Suzanne Rollinson (Oct 2016)
